In the mail was a package from my mom. It was a picture book called, Let Me Hold You a Little Longer by Karen Kingsbury. It starts like this:
Long ago, you came to me,
a miracle of firsts:
First smiles and teeth and baby steps
a sunbeam on the burst.
But one day you will move away
and leave me to your past.
And I will be thinking of
a lifetime of your lasts.
The last time I held a bottle
to your baby lips.
The last time I lifted you
and held you on my hip.
The last night you woke up crying
needing to be walked.
When you crawled up with your blanket
needing to be rocked.
Precious simple memories and
bright flashes from your past.
Would I have held on a little longer if
I'd known they were your last?
It goes on as the child grows up, pondering all the last times seemingly everyday things happen. In the midst of my mental fog, it hit hard. I need to enjoy everything. Even the unenjoyable parts. Someday they will cry and all my tricks won't work. Wrapping them up and rocking them, swinging, singing, shushing, pacifier...not a one will help when they don't make the team, they didn't get asked to the dance, their best friend moves away or some scumbag boy who doesn't deserve them dumps them. For now, I can fix it. For now, I can make the world right in their eyes. So for now, I will. And when I am wrapping up a screaming baby to rock and hold, I will hope it's not a last.
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| Emily doesn't think twins are twice the fun. |
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| Emily |
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| Julia |
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| Emily matches her blanket! |
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| Julia |
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| One of Emily's first smiles. |
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| The last time in these newborn outfits! |
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| How did this boogie fit out your nose, Julia?! |
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| Surprised Emily |
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| Double duty |
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| Reverse ying yang. |
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| Dr. P at 6 week check up holding the girls when they are NOT covered in goo! |
*tears*
ReplyDeleteWow -- that is a good one Mrs. L! And they can't possibly be 6 weeks old??! Such beautiful little ladies!
You're doing great! I wish I could help hold one though bringing my crazy to your crazy would be way too crazy!
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine two at once and the first time around! You are a rockstar and I have been in awe of your awesomeness since before they were even here! Hang in there, the crazy moments always pass and a new light shines! You are entitled to feel that way, even though you are putting supermoms to shame you are still human and tiredness, crankiness, overwhelming-ness(if even a word)is all part of it... Take breaks when you need them, cry when you want to, and scream if you feel like it! This is absolutely the hardest, most frustrating, best, most fulfilling job you will ever have! With it comes all the emotions! You are doing an excellent job and your precious little girls are living, breathing, adorable proof! Love ya!
ReplyDeleteDitto what everyone's already said - you're a rockstar! I only had one and had days like that, too! But it DOES get better. : ) It's so true about the lasts, though - some days I wonder where the time went, and I almost miss rocking Evs to sleep and middle of the night feedings and snuggles (*almost* - sleeping through the night is pretty great, too! ; ) Enjoy every moment!
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